I had a couple of requests to leave my kits up a little longer and I didn’t get a chance to send anything through P4D, so they’re up and on sale through the 30th of this month…so if you want anything, go grab it!

In other news, we went to our first Christmas parade tonight and (gasp) I forgot my camera!  Shame on me!  I took some shots with my camera phone, but I know they won’t be the same.  Oh, well, we all had a good time, the kids loved it.

Here are a couple of new layouts, while I’m thinking about it.

This one is just a snapshot of Casey while we were goofing around over at the other ranch last weekend:

Credits: Paper, stitching and stitched journaling square are from Lisa Whitney’s A Beautiful Mess at ScrapArtist. Date stamp and folder are from Heather Roselli’s Day Planner kit at TDC. Kraft tag on safety pin is from Katie Pertiet at Designer Digitals. Also used Kate Teague’s Hollow’Out Alpha from 2 Peas.

This is one of many outtakes from the same day, our first Christmas photo shoot (though I’m not sure it yielded THE Christmas card photo):

Credits: Papers & gold stitching from Michelle Coleman’s A Merry Little Christmas set, beads and stick pin from Jen Wilson’s Merry Days of Christmas First Decorations, velvet ribbons by me.

Another outtake, though I really LOVE this one, the more I look at it.  I may resize this to fit on a card and send it out .

Credits: This one is with Ashley Olson’s A Very Retrolicious Christmas Papers & Elements, available at The Digi Shoppe.

Okay, I have lots of homework to do tomorrow so the kiddos are going to see their Granny and I’m spending the day with my laptop.  I have an oral presentation due on Monday and also need to have a draft of my final paper which is due a week from Monday.  If we have the draft in class this week, the instructor will critique it so I really want to get that done.

Oh, yeah, I got one deal on Black Friday…a 250GB Seagate Internal Hard Drive.  Best Buy had them in their ad, I can’t believe they still had some left when I went by there.  It was only $59.99 and I can put it in myself, yay!  I plan to do some housekeeping, get everything off my 80GB external and free it up to take down to the office.  Maybe next week I’ll have time for that.

Okay, off to bed for me…sleep tight!

Click here to visit my store at DSD!

“Livin’ on a Prayer” by BonJovi is the number one song of the 80’s. As I sat down to put up a bunch of stuff at DSD for the big Black Friday sale (almost all of my stuff is now available there for tomorrow ONLY), I was listening to them count down the top 20 songs of the 80’s. I was surprised at how many songs DH and I agreed on because in my mind, he’s a country music guy. I didn’t know him in high school, so I didn’t have a clue what he listened to then. We were both sitting here going “ooh, that’s a good one” and “oh, man, I remember that one”, LOL. I love music, I don’t know of many things that can invoke memories and emotions like songs can and I just love hearing a song that really makes me feel for just a second like I did when that song was popular, KWIM?

How was your Holiday? We had a bit of a dilemma, we didn’t go to the regular place because everyone didn’t go there this year. So, we didn’t see everyone we usually see. We still had a good day, but it was different than the last few years. I hope it all gets sorted by Christmas, we’ll see.

So, I think I might try to scrap a bit, I’m staying up to turn on the sale at Digiscrapdivas at 12:01 EST, which is a little over an hour away, so I might as well do something fun to kill the time…

Happy shopping tomorrow!  Don’t forget to browse my stuff over there as I really don’t know when or if it will be coming back!

at DSD. 40% off all day long, from 12:01 AM to 11:59 PM EST. Now, I’m trying to decide if I should put my own stuff back up for the sale. I never really announced my retirement, so maybe I should, just to give those who might want some of it to grab it the chance to do so before I take it down for good. I think I’ll go see what all is there and debate uploading some of my ACOT stuff over there, too, for the day.

So, what does your Thanksgiving hold? Ours will be different this year as we’re not going to be with quite as much of the family as we usually are. But that’s okay, I guess. We had my family here last night for dinner and it went well. Not quite all of the family, but we had a good time and the house has pretty much already been put back in order (yay me!). Now I just need to get back on all the laundry that piled up last week and start getting us ready for our traveling. Fortunately, we don’t have too far to go, just about an hour each way, so that won’t be too bad.

As much as I love my children, I sometimes miss the Thanksgivings we used to have. Not that we couldn’t have those now, even with the kids, but we just had a group of friends, four couples and they all had kids. We used to do Thanksgiving and Christmas together and I really miss that. I mean, I love my family, but there’s nothing like a good group of friends to make the Holidays complete. It’s so hard to make friends when you’re a grown-up…I just really wish we had a couple or two that we really enjoyed spending time with to get together with for the Holidays.

Oh, well, enough of that, there’s alot to do. Enjoy your Holiday if you celebrate it and if you don’t, just enjoy your day!

not much else to talk about.  DH ticked me off earlier about the stupid phone that I got from the office so I’m just mad, but don’t want to go to bed and don’t want to sit here much longer, either.  I need an anger management book, LOL!  Anyway, I never did come show off my layouts with the awesome Winter Fun kit, so here they are:

I have to admit it, I came up with this palette (if you know my designs, you know I LOVE bright colors!) and I am so happy with the way this kit came out.  Seriously, if you don’t have it, you should grab it!  Here’s a link to make it easy for you!

Okay, that’s it for me.  Time for a Smart Ones Fudge Cake Sundae and some cold milk and a book or magazine or something…the kiddos are gone to my sister’s house tonight, so it’s really really quiet, LOL.  I guess I should go to bed soon because I’m cooking tomorrow, but I am still mad at DH so I don’t want to go ’til he’s asleep.  I know, I know, you shouldn’t go to bed mad, well, I think that happens at my house about five nights a week.

Nitey nite, all…if I don’t get back before then, Happy Thanksgiving (to those who celebrate it!)

Yep, two days in a row!  Well, it got a facelift so I’m trying to show it off a bit, LOL!

How was your Saturday?  We really had a pretty good day, we went to the “cowboy store” and got DH and Casey both some jeans and Casey also got a new pair of boots.  I swear I need to scrap the ones he was wearing, they’re about 2 sizes too big, but I bought them because I got a great deal on them at the consignment shop.  When he outgrew his last pair, he just started wearing them and he’s hard on boots.  He and Bailey had played in the red mud down by the shop and they were really awful, LOL.  So, I saw these great ones at the store and got him a pair.  Of course Bailey pouted for a while because they had nothing she liked in her size (as if I could do something about that?!?!?), but then we headed to the mall and she got her lip balm.  She’d seen the American Girl Lip Balm at B&BW last weekend, but I refused to stand in the line to pay for it at the new mall,   Anyway, she was happy and I got their Christmas CD set.  I’ve listened to one of the two and it’s pretty good, I am a Christmas music junkie, LOL.  Let’s see…oh, and I got so lucky, I finally found an infrared transmitter that will send the signal from our portable DVD player to their good wireless headphones that worked with the DVD player in our old van.  They’d been using cheapy ones with cords running everywhere and they’d always complain that the radio was too loud (even if it wasn’t) and they couldn’t hear the TV.  Oh, happy day, now they can listen to the TV and I can listen to music and we’re all happy.

So the mall wasn’t too crowded, but it was crowded enough.  We still had a good time, though.  We love to go hang out at the bookstore and read a few books, then we looked around in the Disney store, had a snack and just walked around a bit.  There’s a play area there, but (gasp!) they are really too big for it unless there are just a handful of people there.  I can remember when they were small and I hated that all the big kids would come in and run around and not pay attention to the little ones so I won’t allow that from my two.  We checked out the movie schedule for the theater there, they still have never been to see a movie in the theater.  DH has always said he wanted to go with them the first time we went, but he just never has time.  So, one way or another, we’re going soon, with him or without him.  Happy Feet looks good.  Oh, speaking of movies, we watched The Polar Express last night for the first time.  The kids loved it, DH didn’t care much for it, but then I guarantee you he wouldn’t hear the bell…I think I would, LOL, cause I’m just a big kid anyway.  So Casey is watching it again this morning, guess he REALLY liked it.

Okay, geez, how many cups of coffee did it take to get through this post?!?!  Sorry for keeping you so long…go!  Get off this computer and enjoy your Sunday!

thanks for all the comments on my baby woes post.  Misery loves company, I suppose, but it sure does make me feel better to know others out there feel the same way.  It never ceases to amaze me how prevalent this issue is because it just isn’t something most of us talk about every day with just anyone, but when you bring it up, it’s amazing how many people share their stories, too…thanks, everyone!  Hugs back to all of you, even those who don’t share the problem, but wrote anyway!  I appreciate all of your comments .

And I gave the blog a facelift.  Not absolutely crazy about the banner, but it’ll do for now.  I also upgraded to the latest WP version, I’ve needed to do that for a while.

Don’t have time to really say much, we have to go to town and do a bit of shopping today.  Did want to mention that if you have noticed that the links are gone to my designs, that’s because I’m not selling anymore.  I feel so much better.  Maybe I’ll elaborate at some point, but can’t do it now.  I’ll have some layouts later to share from the DSD Winter Fun Kit…it’s fab, have you seen it?  If not, see it here!

Off to town and I will probably get to sneak by Starbucks for a Pumpkin Spice Latte…yes, I’m absolutely addicted to those things!  Have a great day!

but some days, it isn’t. Sometimes it’s a song, sometimes a picture or a TV show, sometimes even a layout…makes me want another baby.

If you know me at all, you know my babies are the product of in-vitro fertilization. After four years of first not trying not to get pregnant, then kind of trying, then really trying, then finally one round of IVF, we got our miracles. I wish I had a nickel for every time I heard “oh, you got a boy and a girl, you can stop now”. People just don’t understand how it feels to know that you can’t just decide to have a baby and do it. They don’t understand how it feels to feel guilty for even wanting another baby because you know there are so many people out there still waiting for their first. They don’t know how it feels to think you’d just be tempting fate to try again and you should just be thankful for what you have. Most people just take it for granted.

Today it was a song. Tim McGraw’s new one, “My Little Girl”. I used the lyrics on a layout not that long ago. The part that gets me almost every time is when he talks about how she “looked like an angel wrapped in pink all soft and warm”… There are not very many moments in life when your breath is just taken away and you realize that nothing else in the world matters. There are not that many times that you just can’t imagine ever happening again. Yes, we have two children, a boy and a girl, the perfect family. But we only got one birthday. I only got to be pregnant once. We only got to bring them home from the hospital once. I only got those first few months of sweet, sleepy babies once. I only got to see them learn to walk and talk and do all the things they do once.  Yes, I got the unbelievable privilege of seeing it happen to two at once and for that I am truly grateful.  I wouldn’t trade it for anything.  But, sometimes, when I see a Mommy with a sleeping baby, or a toddler just starting to waddle or any of those other things that have already passed for us, it just hurts. I don’t understand it, I never will. To quote another country song, this one from Clay Walker,

An’ how can two people who built a lovin’ home,
Try for years an’ never have a child of their own?
When somewhere out there tonight,
There’s a baby no-one’s holdin’ tight:
In need of love.
To me, that don’t add up.

I know, we aren’t supposed to question things. I don’t go to church every Sunday, but I do understand that. But sometimes it is so hard not to. To see babies that are not being taken care of as they deserve to be and yet to not be able to have another of my own. To hear people complain about being pregnant or see women who have babies and pass them off to relatives to be raised…sometimes it’s just too much to comprehend.

Yes, I have my days. Those days that my two babies drive me absolutely crazy. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love them. That’s another thing, though…only those who experienced infertility can understand how guilty it makes you feel to have those days when they’re driving you crazy and you really need a break when you wanted so badly for years to just have them.

I suppose we all have a cross to bear. I mean, I consider myself so very blessed to have had two healthy babies when I know so many people who experienced a loss with a multiple pregnancy or had their babies early and still have health issues. Or even those who had singletons, but have children with chronic or life-threatening illnesses. I know I’m lucky to have what I have, I really do. But sometimes, it’s just too much to realize that having another child is most likely not an option for us and I can’t help but feel sad and frustrated and, well, cheated. I can’t help but be selfish and wish I could have another baby. I can’t help but ask why because, well, it just isn’t fair. But it’ll be okay. I suppose I could comfort myself with the fact that if God wanted us to have another baby, he’d give us one. I know, I’ve seen the miracle surprise babies that happen after IF treatments. Maybe in a way, that makes it even harder. We never got a diagnosis. There was nothing wrong with either of us. So, there’s still that chance. It could happen. And knowing each month that there is that slight possibility and then being disappointed when it doesn’t happen. Some people just get their tubes tied and move on. They can’t take the not knowing each and every month. I suppose I could do that, but I won’t. You just never know when it might happen. And so, each month, you are left with the wondering…until AF arrives and you don’t have to wonder anymore. And you’re disappointed and you wonder why you can’t do something that seems so simple. Something that for most is a God given right. And you have to wonder why God didn’t give that right to you.

It’ll be okay. But some days, it just hurts more than others…I’m gonna go hug my kids now.